Where ya gonna go with a heart that gone?

No more

Mon, 25 May 2009 04:59:12 GMT

THIS DOES NOTHING FOR ME

I'd much rather write on paper like I'm used to doing.
Eff blogging.

I will leave you with this:
[23:53] Jeez lace: lolol. KY-Intense.
KY gel commercials are so weird.
[23:57] que dodging: its not as bad as luv rub
[23:57] que dodging: thats how its spelled
[23:57] que dodging: luv rub
[23:57] que dodging: /shudder
[23:57] Jeez lace: roflroflrofl

The end.

Igetit

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 21:04:28 GMT

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't.

I DON'T KNOW HOW!

I'm absolutely falling apart. Going mad. Insane. My ends are fraying. I despise being the kind of person who thinks and thinks and thinks and thinks. And then thinks some more.
I'm more confused than you'll ever know, or care to know.
And I can't explain it to anyone because either
1. They really don't care.
2. They have absolutely no idea what to say
and 3. I'm not that good at explaining things.
Especially not my feelings. I'm terrible at expressing those.

I want to be left alone.
Except not.
Just left alone by the people who I want to leave me alone.
Once again, I'm falling apart.

STARTING OVER!

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 01:47:49 GMT

:]
I think it's a good plan.
I don't need you, or your stupid little friends. I've got all my own.
You used me and really, it's not even worth my time to even think about it anymore. Do you know how capable I am of making YOU'RE life miserable? But I'm not heartless, and I'm going to be better than you, so I'm not going to do that.

So I'm starting over brand new and changing my views on everything.
That's all.
I'm not spilling my feelings about anything else.
I can't. There are too many feelings to talk about.

ughhhimissjordan.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:12:10 GMT

Happy Earth Day

I'm off to Chicago tomorrow. Thank goodness. I'm so ready to just leave for a little while. Although, I haven't seen my boyfriend in a week and I'll miss him more than anything ever while I'm gone.
Hopefully he'll be there to pick me up on Sunday at the school, though.
I wish it would be warm while we're down there. I'm so sick of cold weather. It gets sickening after a while.
I worry so much about everything. I'm going mad. I want to sit in bed...all day and read millions of book and drink coffee. All day long. I don't want to have to worry about all the things I do daily.
I've put myself under unnecessary amounts of stress. I mean, gobs and gobs of it. Consequently, I get irritated at everyone because I'm on edge about everything I've been over thinking.

Anyways, Chicago here I come.

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:27:44 GMT

My mood swings need to chill. I have no idea how to control them.
One moment I'm so happy and I feel wonderful, then the next I get sad and draw to my room and I won't come out for anything. Over tiny, minuscule things, too. Like not being able to talk to my boyfriend 24/7 or being to fatfatfat to fit into my prom dress comfortably.
People at school probably think I'm fine, but I can hide my feelings so well, you'd never know that I was miserable. Unless it was really bad. And it has been before.
I've felt so hopelessly lost for so long now.
I don't know what else to feel.

So now, I just think ahead and how much more better my life will be after I graduate.
Although, that is next year.

I'm shaking. That probably from being hungry and drinking too much coffee, though.

I'm also really tired...its only 9:30...

talk about the worst feeling in the world

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 22:29:31 GMT

Hello, please hold

.............................

.............................

.............................

.............................

.............................

.............................

Always, always, always waiting for something.
I hate feeling anxious.
Where's the summer?

I am so FRUSTRATED

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:36:22 GMT

With everything!
sdklajhkjrfhkakfjhakfg
I'm always upset about something. I don't feel like I'm ever really happy.
I'm always bothered with something else, so whenever I should be having fun, and I should be happy, I'm really not.
Not at all.
It seems like when one thing gets better, another gets worse, and it's not working itself out.
I don't know how to feel anything else besides frustration. I feel claustrophobic in my own skin. Every single little thing bothers me.
I was sitting in the commons area and heard people say 'tooken' three times, and that annoyed me to no end. But it's no secret that people with bad grammar annoy me.
When minor details to plans are changed I get so aggravated.
When Mrs. Nevitt decides that EVERYTHING SHE SAYS SHE HAS TO YELL IT, I want to put a muzzle over her mouth and tell her to shut up.
I get mad because my boyfriend hangs out with his friends every single day and I don't get to talk to him until late.
I'm annoyed by everything.
The wind, the sun, people, noises, inanimate objects, EVERYTHING.
I don't know how to change.

Forever tired.

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:31:38 GMT

I can't seem to sleep enough.
I'm supposed to be writing an editorial about Carbon Footprints.
But I'm not focused enough to be going on and on about CO2 emissions humans constantly create and how they should learn to do things that impact the world less as to ensure a better future for their children and their children's children, and so on.
But anyways, I'm sick.
I've diagnosed myself with exhaustosis.
Because I'm so exhausted and tired that I'm getting headaches, earaches, stomachaches...ect.
Maybe I'm just a baby. But I do think that I could benefit from more sleep. This will happen on spring break. Sleepsleepsleep.
I'm not doing a single thing.
Actually, I probably will. But I'm going to sleep a lot, too.

Okay, carbon footprint time.

dodododododoo

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 02:07:48 GMT

I hate mid-terms.
Stupid, pointless mid-terms. I have my Geometry mid-term tomorrow, which I'm more than likely going to fail.
Wonderful.
Tatum's birthday party is tomorrow. Her friends are coming over and I'm going to DIE.
I'm extremely hungry.
Man...I'm boring.
:/

everythin g

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:54:18 GMT

Every.thing. is falling apart.
Even me.
I'm buckling under all this weight. I know I brought it upon myself, but I never knew I'd be so weak.
So, so, SO weak.
I've felt like I have been going to puke since Saturday. I know I'm not sick, but I've messed up so badly...it makes me sick.
This sucks.

I'm jealous

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 05:11:15 GMT

One Tree Hill makes me jealous.
Especially of Haley and Nathan. They have something sooooo special. It's not fair.
But it'll happen for me. Along with everyone else. I do believe that.
I do believe that there is someone out there specially picked for someone else. Just one person that can make you so unbelievably happy you can't imagine that there was ever anyone before that.
There is a perfect match for everyone.

Anyways, the ACT is on Tuesday. Ohhhhh boy am I looking forward to that. Sorta...not really.
Why does Hancock County High School suck so bad?
I mean, I'm not just meaning the school system, but the entire student body.

Wow.

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:31:36 GMT

I'm in English.
I'm freezing.
I think I finally know what I want to do for my major.

FINALLYFINALLY.

I'm pretty sure I hate school, though.

If it means a lot to you...

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:58:48 GMT

MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME.
My tooth aches...randomly.
Hmph.

So, I don't know what I'm doing about prom.
Or a lot of other things.
Because everything costs so much money.
Money that I don't have.
Because I don't have a job, because I am licenseless, because my car isn't fixed, because I live with a bunch of procrastinators. Including myself.

If there's anything else I need to blogblogblog about, I can't think of it.
But this is the first time I've written, erm...typed, in a while. So, it should do.
[:
I waste my life away watching One Tree Hill. That's all.
It'd be sweet if my tooth wasn't throbbing with pain.

Mhm

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 03:22:54 GMT

Sooooooooooooooo...I never ever post.
I'm never ever on the computer.
It doesn't bother me.
I'm sick.

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 02:04:11 GMT

I'm too bored to write anything.
Sorryyyy

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 04:09:27 GMT

B R E A T H E

I need to.

Callin all the time I know I interrupt, but it hurts when all I hear is you hanging up

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 22:47:35 GMT

-_____________________________________________-
Sundays suck
and Mondays aren't any better.
Neither are Tuesdays.
Wednesdays aren't that great, Thursdays are okay.
But Fridays are where it's at.
Forget Saturdays, they just lead into Sundays.

My bones were shattered, my pride lay shattered.

I want to restart everything.
Ev.
er.
y.
thing.

I love Taking Back Sunday. I'm sorry it took me so long, I'm sorry it took me so long.

Haha, I love how I always find a way to mess everything up.
It's snowing. It'd be great if everything iced over and we didn't have school tomorrow.
If everything iced over like my pond. Which is completely frozen.

I take too much for granted. Its hard to stop.
:/
I feel like crap. I'm sorry.

The past should stay dead

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 05:51:55 GMT

Dead dead dead dead dead dead dead.
DEAD.
Ahhh.
Something about finding things out about someones past unnerves me. Doesn't matter what it is. It just does.
So anyways...5 days until my birthday.
I was born at 11:11 am. Be jealous.
Although, I have no idea why you would be.

No more pls

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:57:34 GMT

I'm done with band. I can't take it anymore. It puts wayyy too much stress on me and takes up way too much of my time. Everything would be so much easier.
So, I have now decided that next year I am not going to be in band. I've weighed out the pros and cons and the pros defintely outweigh the cons. With band I don't have time for a job, or anybody else. I can't stay dedicated to something like that whenever I hate basically everyone there and...I don't know. I'm done. Offically.
[:

On a different note...actually, there really isn't anything else going on....

ayo

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 21:37:24 GMT

I got a sunrise today [:
lolol
My playing test is tomorrow and I'm definitely not ready and I know I'm gonna fail. Maybe that's why I haven't been stressing out about it. Like...at all.
I have to focus on actual schoolwork. Because this semister is so much harder than the last one.
What with Mrs. Nevitt giving homework assignments everynight. Mr. Schwindel, too. Then there's English that I always try really hard in because it's the only think I'm good at in school. So right now, band isn't my top priority. The ACT and things like that are.
So I'm not worried about it. I just want to get it over with. It's just 10 minutes of my life that are going to be awful, but then I step out of his office and everyone is over it.
Who cares about chair placements anyways? I'm good, better than Kara, I know that at least. So I don't care what chair I get because when it comes to actual band, that is when I try.
I have too much on my plate right now. I have the ACT in april, which I'm going to take more than once, I know that. I have service learning projects that I just now found out were MANDITORY and I have to do them and they're due on the 20th. I have US history, Geometry, and English homework every night. I have Community Service I still need to do. I have to find a prom date(?), thats not really important, I just need to buy tickets and I don't know to buy two or one...and I still have to find a dress. And other things that I can't think of at the moment. I find it hard to control my own life -_-

I'm not a fan of The Dark Knight, just Heath Ledger

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:32:28 GMT

3,2,1...
We go live

Today is NewYrsEve, and all my friends are in Gatlinburg and don't know what time they're getting back.
:[
Hopefully I'll be able to hang out with Jeff and Damon, then.
Yayyyyy.
Oh, btw, I don't have wisdom teeth anymore.
SWEET.

Empty

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 23:12:39 GMT

Sometimes, I don't want to talk.
I just want to sink into the back of the couch and watch One Tree Hill for hours on end.
With no interruptions.
I think it'd be so great to just be able to have one day without having to explain myself.
To explain anything, really.

P.s. I love One Tree Hill. It makes me happy. Happier than any boy.
AND SO DOES TEXTING.

fagfagfag

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 06:19:27 GMT

I've given up!
I don't feel like always having to wonder if the boy I'm talking to is just going to stop talking to me like all the others.
So now, I'm not getting involved with another boy for a lonnng time.
At least, until I know that he's actually interested in me.
I'm so sick of always being let down and hurt. Seriously.
Even if we were just friends and he stopped talking. IT STILL HURTS.
Buttholes.
Boys
Are
Buttholes.
This has happened...lets see, 10 times now...
And theres two of them that it's happened more than once.
I'm done.

On the other hand.
I seem to have an invisible cut on my finger and it hurts real bad.
I'm hungry.
New Years I'm going to Oxygen with Bethany and Mary Rachel.
lolololol

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 22:49:17 GMT

Me: Hey Sarah, would you still talk to me if I looked like this?

Sarah: -laughs for 5 minutes and then- NOOOOOOOOO.

What wonderful friends I have.

------------------------------------------------------------
I hate having no life whatsoever.

Tomorrow + Chemistry= Glow in the dark slime.
Ahahahha.

Mr. Clark says I'm not allowed to touch anything expensive, though...because I always almost break everything.
:[

Being sick sucks.

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:45:15 GMT

I've been listening to The Maine and The Secret Handshake since I've gotten home from school.
It's last year all over again.
Ahahaa.
I don't mind. It puts me in a good mood.

I hate liars who try to sabotage relationships.
DANNNNNNNG.